What the Hell Fall 2011 Movies?

Is it just me or does the Fall 2011 movie line up suck?  The only thing I remotely enjoyed was the Lion King 3D and that was just a re-release.  So according to my AMCStubs account, this sums up all the movies I have most recently seen within the past couple of months.

J. Edgar 

A story told with constant time traveling and no flux capacitor (unfortunately).  The movie was 50% based on the development of the FBI, 39% on J. Edgar’s sexual preference over men instead of women, 8% spent bantering to random type-writing recent law school graduates as well as the countless Psycho type dialogue between him and his mother and 2% I wish I just walked out and read his life story on Wikipedia.

Immortals

No acting – just sex, Greek mythology and rock and roll.

Paranormal Activity 3

We all knew it was the girls, we just wanted to know why.  When the why was answered, fail…fail…fail.  The trailer was a million times more scary than the actual movie.  It was the same old tricks that made the first and second movie successful.  Stupid advertising.

The Three Musketeers

Orando Bloom as a pirate?  Again?  I have to say, with some of the bigger names in this cast, it was kind of a let down.  Kid fun though, so I am sure the younger generations enjoyed it … but it’s not like any kid was dying to be a Musketeer for Halloween this year … or ever.

Lion King 3D

There are no words to describe the epic magnitude of this movie.

Colombiana

Surprisingly good!  I went to see this film more for the action scenes (who doesn’t love a hot ass chick kicking ass!) but actually found the story and acting watchable.   I seriously didn’t think she had it in her after watching her in Star Trek, but she is sexy, a darn fine actress and she is incredibly bad ass!

Silenced (Korean Film)

Not subtitled, even though they told me it was!  AMC was awesome enough to get me on the refund though!

Contagion

Zombies could have saved this movie.

Apollo18

13 Reasons Why…..

Th1rteen R3asons Why is a novel by Jay Asher and is a New York Times Best Seller.

I know I am going off topic with the usual posts here, where we discuss about gaming, media, and all other crazy stuff.

Right now I am in a serious mood and reflecting on things. It’s good to reflect. Right??

Th1rteen R3asons Why brings you into a world of a young teenage girl, Hannah Baker, who deals with everyday typical problems of a high school student. However, when her world crumbles, she does what many or some of us think about doing, when we just can’t take anymore. SUICIDE.

Clay Jensen comes across a box addressed to him. Inside that box contains 13 cassette tapes, where Hannah Baker explains why she killed herself. The book brings you into a world of emotion and drama. It will honestly make you cry.

This book made me think about my middle and high school days. From 7th grade to my junior year in high school, I have always thought about killing myself. I hated the way I look and hated everyone in general.

I was picked on and “bullied” from 7th to 8th grade. I had the “mean” girls and boys constantly tease me. When it snowed, boys threw snowballs at my face. Even my family picked on me!!! My uncle would compare me to my cousins and sisters. I would be called ugly or always get hey how come you don’t look beautiful like your sisters and cousins, you are so ugly. Urgh, what a feeling right, being called ugly everyday and being picked on. They made me cry every day. It was horrible. I hated it. I thought about certain ways to just end my life or maybe just run away from it all. It was hard to deal with this and talk to anyone about it. However, I could never ever bring myself to ending my life, which I thank god everyday that I didn’t. Honestly, it would be selfish of me to do it too. Make everyone around me hate and cry about me.

I thought things would never ever get better. To all of you out there who thought about SUICIDE, don’t do it. Trust me. Things do get better in time. Think of it as an obstacle. Life will always have bumpy roads. You just have to be strong, but honestly it isn’t easy to overcome. If you think no one understands, they do. Just speak up. You have great friends who’ll help you along the way. Friends are there for you. They will let you vent all your emotions to them, because holding all that in, will just kill you. Scream it out if you must. Heheh all I can say is WOO SAHHHH!!!

New blog site for essassin, the unicorn portion of u&L.

i will still be posting here, but I set up a little something-something dedicated to fangirls (err…and fanboys!!) everywhere.

fangirlatic.com

fan-[girl]-atic

be well my friends and see you on the new blog!

<3.e

Dora Links is scary.

Dora the Explorer has grown up .. and so has the expansion of her product line. The newest addition to the Dora the Explorer franchise is Dora Links, a tween targeted interactive doll.  She has joined the likes of the Bratz league, but Dora features more than a new makeover, she’s actually educational and oddly interactive. With a built in USB plugin, the new Dora Links doll interacts with its software and DoraLinks.com. Dora fangirls can solve mysteries, help friends, play dress up, learn how to use a computer and perform customizations to have the”perfect” Dora doll.

its a little creepy how interactive she is. when you change her features on the computer, the doll will automatically make the same changes. i had to research if it was true that you could change her hair length in gameplay and the doll would sync the hair change, oh and it is most definitely true. the same applies to the eyes. if you dont want plain old Dora to have her regular brown eyes, you can completely change her eye color.

even if shes not plugged in, Dora somehow knows whats happening in her town and she will give you updates.  she also has an entourage now, the Explorer Girls. of course any tween would be too old to be seen talking to a purple monkey.  she grew lips and surgically enhanced her eyes to make her seem more anime-ish, and i do miss her backpack.

i read some Dora Links amazon reviews and most are positive.  my two favorite reviews are “doll is NOT mac-compatible” and “the doll was returned two hours after buying it because it was scary looking.”  im sure Dora fangirls love this doll, but honestly, i didnt see her growing up this way.  she went from cute little explorer tomboy to high-end fashionista.

its a shame they had to go down this route, Dora had such a great thing going for while promoting the imagination is a great thing.  i feel they took the interactive show and just kept rolling with something that could potentially work to add to the whole experience.  sadly, they modified her image to be more marketable while losing her baseline spirit.

John and Edward from X-Factor are double Edward Cullen’s

i have been catching up on the latest season of X-Factor, a British show thats like American Idol.  John and Edward, group contestants, twins, and cocky little blokes, remind me of the younger Robert Pattinson.  they are like Robert Pattinson (Edward Cullen, Twilight Saga Movies) when hes not dark and vampire-ish and more in tune with pop culture.  they also look like they will age better, these boys just have nicer features.  sorry Edward Cullen fangirls, i still love you!  you should know by now im all team wolf!!

John-and-Edwardjohn and edward (x-factor)

Social Media Revolution: what are you waiting for?

youtube user: teachertubepd

absolutely the best FAQ video for Social Media and the simplest explanation of the benefits/effects digital has on a global scale. even though u&L is a “fantasy” based blog, the expansion and influence the internet provides is undeniable. more and more companies are relying on digital traffic because of the reach and cheaper cost. majority of our lives revolve around the internet through research, entertainment, news, products, services, and new innovative social networks and applications. for consumers and marketers alike, social media is making a dramatic impact.  social media ties users and groups together while giving companies the ability to target exactly who you want and need – instead of wasting money mass marketing.

the best thing about this new venture is the ability to create new jobs in this economy. start new businesses with lower marketing costs and way more effective bangs for your buck.  there are still older, more traditional companies who are only learning now about the benefits of digital expansion: ecommerce, ad networks, digital platforms, social media marketing, and being able to digitally market your brand on a greater scale.

revolution indeed.

go digital, we are waiting.

Left 4 Dead: Crash Course [xbox360]

L4D Crash Course“PILLS, HERE”

if you love killing zombies, boomers, witches, smokers, hunters, and tanks … well god damn this expansion was created with you in mind.  we gave the Crash Course Campaign a test run playing co-op and maybe waiting for L4D2 isnt such a bad idea … since us xboxusers have to pay $7 and PC pays what, $0.

“The Story Continues

At the finale of No Mercy, our four Survivors fought their way to the rooftop of Mercy Hospital, where they were flown away to safety in a helicopter. Crash Course continues the story moments later, taking our heroes from a fiery helicopter crash in the outskirts of Riverside to the escape vehicle that will lead them to the events in Death Toll.”

the gameplay and weapons are exactly the same, so dont get to thinking your going to get some more wicked zombie killing tools.  i bet theyre saving all that fun for Left 4 Dead 2 (release date: November 17, 2009).

LOVE:

  • a hell of a lot more zombies, boomers, witches, tanks, smokers, and hunters.  when i mean a lot, i mean a ridiculous amount and thats just on easy mode.
  • the buildings have a lot more rooms to form up and just rip up hordes.  the funny thing is we didnt even realize half of them were there until after the fighting since they were rarely built into previous campaigns.
  • you actually had to figure out how to get past a gate.  unlike the the other campaigns which are pretty much, point-shoot-go go go!, we actually had to figure something out.  not just pushing a button and dealing with the occasional “YOU HAVE ALERTED THE HORDE.”

HATE:

  • someone had the bright idea to compact 5 chapters into 2.  some of you may enjoy the extended play, but i feel it starts to drag when you dont have the checkpoints/stats updates.  i personally enjoy knowing that i killed 50+ more than the 12 year old boys, who sound like girls. (oh, you know what im talking about.)
  • $7.

at this point, we might as well have used the $7 to pre order L4D2.  throwing in actual methods in getting on with the game had me all willy nilly for about 2 minutes, but other than that, i could of had the same fun playing the other campaigns.  maybe we expected too much, but true to L4D’s core vision, this is.  so here we are again, the wait is patient for L4D2.

Fred Tatasciore = Damon Baird [GOW1/2]

so more recently, to add to my dismal unemployment, i picked up gaming (mainly xbox360-yes we both play xbox live/coops).  merlina told me about Gears of War because of my fixation for Left 4 Dead was slowly coming to pass.  needless to say i played GOW2 before playing GOW and now constantly playing GOW because i fell in love with Baird.  i choose the right paths to team up with my Gear, even though i am a large beefy man named Marcus.  ha.

this small gaming crush made me wonder what the man behind the face of Baird would look like.  i imagined the guy voicing Baird would have veins popping out of his thick steroid-like neck, wore blue tinted goggles, and had a never ending amount of dirt on his face.  when i finally did the search, i was led to the path of Fred Tatasciore.

Baird_Tatasciore

at first i was like whaat??! NOOO!  but then i had to come back to reality and remind myself Baird is not real, real.  but honestly, Fred’s voice over is killer.  K-I-L-L-E-R.  i think the voice is what first drew me to the character, i was really sold.  it wasnt over the top and it was believable.  most of the main GOW guys are pretty one note and who knows, maybe this was epics whole plot from the beginning.  to get that 1 gamer girl out of every 5 gamer guys to gush over how wonderful their characters are. HA. even if it wasnt, i could listen to Baird all day!  good job EPIC!

as for Fred Tatasciore, i was uber-impressed by his long list of work.  not only is he “8″ for the new movie out called 9, hes been in tons of movies that are mainstream popular.  http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0851317/

so mr. fred tatasciore … even though you look nothing like my current gaming crush, you sound like him, so therefore, epic fail?  you most definitely are not.  i think you have just indirectly made me a groupie though :)  can you sign my Baird poster haha. ooooh voice message me on xbox live! lol.

SyFy’s answer to BBC’s Torchwood? Sanctuary.

sanctuarysanctuary.

torchwoodtorchwood.

i have yet to watch the entire first season of Sanctuary, but the cover designs and promo material are practically the same.  one deals with monsters and the other with monsters and alien technology to benefit earths defense against hostile alien fleets!! or just aliens in particular!  Torchwood is pretty racy – gay love, straight up profanity, not your typical sci fi show, but a good addition to the entirety of the doctor who saga.  i just cant stand gwens face and the fact that the seasons are like $60 each.  but i do love the those accents torchwood!

Sancutary, we shall see.  this daniel jackson look a like is annoying me.  hes like a mix of daniel jackson and the white guy on psych.  and he has this forbidden files (nintendo ds game) vibe…actually the show is giving me that vibe.  ugh! damn you amanda tapping!! you look just like gwen cooper!!

and if there was a throw down between Dr. Helen Magnus vs Gwen Cooper?

Verbally: Gwen Cooper

The one who administers the beat down: Gwen Cooper

The brain:  Dr. Helen Magnus/Samantha Carter

really though.  different directives, same spooky vibe.

<3.e

G.I. JOE is a G.I. NO!

gi joe movieGI Joe (2009)

cut the crap and straight to the point, you must LOVE G.I. Joe to love this movie!  it really was like watching street fighter all over again.  the corny lines and weak transitions – i think it would have done better if they broke it into a 10 part mini series.  and how many FLASHBACKS DO YOU NEED??!!!  if you want to tell their stories before they got to be who they are, tell them all in the beginning!!! the actors would go all misty eyed and you knew a flashback scene was eminent!

and was it just me or did those nano-missles look like lava lamps?  theres a point when Storm Shadow is running through Paris with a big neon green lava lamp.  all the money that was put into this movie, you could have been just a little more creative with props.  all the lil fanboys are probably hard at work building their own nano-lava lamps as we speak.

Duke vs Pretty Boy Duke?  whoever casted Channing Tatum needs their eyes checked.  he’s a pretty boy who couldnt act hard to save his life!!  SHAVE OFF HIS GOATEE! it was so distracting! i would have rather seen Van from Hell’s Kitchen S6 play DUKE!!!

Baroness vs. Scarlett?  Die Baroness.  everytime she walked i wanted to just punch her in her face.  the strut wasnt powerful, the strut was awkward and ridiculous.  it was like she was trying to hard to look bad ass but it came off like she didnt know how to walk in them heels.  scarlett? i hated all of your one liners, but since the only female counterpart is Baroness, you were saved.

Snake Eyes vs. Storm Shadow?  the absolute best portion of the movie.  i would have paid to watch a whole movie about them.

The Doctor/Rex … wow, wrong genre man.  i will never watch your movies ever again.  you straight scared me.  but i honestly thought you were Fisher Stevens.

ladies and gentlemen, Fisher Stevens.Fisher Stevens

the movie was also too long.  i felt like i was sitting for 3 hours.  the scenes were just stretched out, but the action scenes were awesome.  the transitions were choppy and the flashbacks really killed it.

bottom line: GI Fanboys … this ones for you!

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